MONDAY
Today I went to the DIY shop down the road when I was attacked by an old granny with a feather duster (an odd weapon you might say) I was scared for the next five minutes as a man helped her down the stairs so she could tickle me. I ran up the hill but little did I know the wheel chair section of the insane house had broke free so I ran away with an old lady with a feather duster after me and the insane wheelchair ward so after two napalm attacks, a hurricane, and a wave the size of the empire state building that destroyed most of the city I was safe at home in my warm bed.TUESDAY
Today something weird happened to my pet ninepin it changed into, in this order a cat, a dog, a cat again, a mouse, twelve donkeys, and finally he ended up as a mutated pet part cat part dog part mouse part donkey I call him a comkey and then I woke up and he was a guinea pig again and then I woke up for real and realised I don’t have a pet.WEDNESDAY
My PS died today I will never be able to tango with her again or go on holiday I feel really lonely. (P.S. PS is my marmite sandwich’s name).THURSDAY
Today my leg exploded but that’s all that really happenedFRIDAY
Today I went on a cross country run it all went well for the first twenty minutes then after twenty hours I needed a rest so I asked someone where I could rest he spoke a funny language to me then I found someone who could speak English. After I had rested I asked him where I was he said I was in Mexico which I thought was a bit strange when we were suppose to be in Norwich city centre on my journey home I went to New York, Paris, Africa, Brazil and Argentina. When I got home in my armchair and drank a cup of tea I wondered what would happen next week.